This question has been one of the most asked and common question that boggles the mind of many singles when it comes to knowing who to marry. Many have been given superficial tips by some relationship bloggers, counselors or self-made relationship therapist.
What I’m about to share with you would help you get it right if you could adopt these tested and proven tips.
Many times I add this: marriage becomes successful when the right person marries the right person, and they apply the right principles for a successful marriage and they involve the right person. It just have to be right, otherwise, it’ll be wrong.
How can I know if this person is the right person?
Only a right person can know who is right, and who is wrong under the right condition and influence.
The following tips would help you to know who is the right person.
1. Be the right person
It takes a thief to know a thief.
If you’re not the right person, it’ll be difficult for you to know the right person.
Are you the right person?
What makes you the right person has to do with the rightness of your heart (spirit and soul) and your right understanding about marriage and life in general.
You may pass all the basic maturity test (mental, physical, financial, social emotional or spiritual), but it doesn’t mean you are the right person.
A person may walk up to you for marriage but their heart isn’t right with you because they have an hidden agenda or motive for coming into your life. This is why you can’t fully know the right person through physical observation because the heart of men and women is evil, deep and desperately wicked, only God can know it.
See, you are not the right person when your understanding about marriage is wrong.
If you believe that women are done a favor by marrying them; that all men are polygamous in nature; that divorce is an option in marriage or cheating is one of the inevitables of life; then you have a wrong understanding of marriage.
If you even marry angel Gabriel or virgin Mary, you will still end up with a bad marriage if you are not the right person.
If the right person marries the wrong person or vis-a-vis, the marriage will fail or become an enduring one.
Next is that you must…
2. Be connected to the person who will make you know the right person
Sounds confusing? Read on!
Man, with the best of all his acquired knowledge and understanding can’t know the right person unless God opens his eyes to see the right person.
Many are not connected to the right person (God) but wants to know the right person without Him. How possible it that?
You need a personal and intimate relationship with God so He can reveal or guide you to the right person.
Don’t ever think you can know the right person without God because only Him knows the right person that will accept your past, present and future.
Dear ladies, be so connected to God that it will take a man whose heart is right with God to find you as his help meet.
Dear men, be a man after God’s own heart that God will have to bring one of His daughters that He has made to you as a wife.
Please, treasure your personal relationship with God more than church activities or being religious.
Ask for the grace to love Him and fellowship with the Holy Spirit, as this would sharpen your spiritual senses to know the right person.
3. Be at rest
Adam wasn’t “dating” all the animals in search of the right person. God gave him a divine anesthesia and he fell into a deep sleep.
Brother, go and rest.
My sister, quit looking for Mr. Right.
When you are at rest, you will be calm enough to recognize the right person when they come. But if you are jumping from Jane to Janet, or from John to Justus, you will be confused, anxious or frustrated in your human search for the right person.
Rest puts you into a hibernate mode, while God is busy working out the right person for you. But if you are busy looking for Mr or Miss Right, God becomes at rest while He watches you doing it in your own way.
Those who are at rest leaves everything in God’s hands while He gives them His best.
Having adopt items 1-3, you will know the right person through your agreement in so many ways.
The right person will be compatible with you in your desire to fulfill your divine purpose. There will be mutual agreement in almost all critical issues of life, or you two can easily align your differences to reach an agreement.
Compatibility has nothing to do with sex. Don’t seek to practicalize it before marriage. You can talk things out if there are differences.
There must be compatibility in goals, visions, divine purpose and in other important areas.
5. Through divine revelation or spiritual discernment
Last but very important, your ability to know the right person is tied to how functional your spiritual senses are.
Adam could spiritually discern the woman as his bone of bones and flesh of flesh. The Bible didn’t tell us that he dreamt or saw visions, there was a knowing in his heart that was deep enough and it was beyond her physical appearance, material possessions or personality impression – it is called discernment.
More so, divine revelation comes through dreams, vision or trance. Only God determines whether the right person will be revealed to you through that means.
Do not also forget that dreams could be manipulated by the devil or originates from your own thoughts.
Dear readers, knowing the right person is not a rocket science, and it’s not something you will know suddenly if you don’t have a track record of an intimate relationship with God.
Don’t wait till you are ready for marriage before you draw closer to God. It takes time to know God and His ways. Start now, don’t wait until you’re “ripe” for marriage before you begin the journey.
Remember, love is best expressed, and marriage is sweet when the right person marries each other and they apply the right principles, with their involvement of the right person (God).
© Adeniyi Tim Oluwamayowa
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