Before age 27, Vera had carefully set out her life’s goal, one of which is that she would have been married by then, ceteris paribus. Little did she know that there was a force that was more stronger than her plans in spite of the speed and ease of accomplishment that God gave her early in life. Before she could realize this and break through this stronghold, she was already in her mid-thirties.
Dear singles, marital delay is real, may you not be a victim! But more real is our victory in Jesus Christ.
Marital delay is an hindrance in your ability to get the right marital partner when it seems that you’re “ready” for marriage. Many young singles don’t know this thing called marital delay, if they had known about it, they would have given it all it would take to be delivered from it now.
Marital delay is caused by several factors, and they include the following.
1. Self-imposed delay
This is when you are the cause of your delay due to your pride (too choosy, arrogance), character flaws, having idols in the heart as to how you want the right person to be, being engaged in a non-committal relationship, waiting to become a millionaire, looking for the “perfect” person, and your refusal to grow due to your philosophy that no one is perfect.
See, the right man or woman does not want to add the baggage of your “imperfection” to their burden in life while you refuse to grow.
And you will unnecessarily delay yourself if you are waiting for the right person to take up your financial responsibility. Get a job or find a business to do.
More so, you will be delayed when you refuse to grow spiritually. Don’t expect your would-be spouse to be more spiritual, while you settle for carnality. Grow up spiritually! Every living thing is expected to grow.
You don’t grow by reading daily devotionals or attending church religiously. Spiritual growth is achieved by being intentional with your personal relationship with God, where you spend quality time with Him in prayers and fellowship with His word on daily basis.
Many don’t realize on time that they are the architect of their delay until it dawns on them. Sit down and evaluate yourself based on these parameters if you’re the cause of your marital delay.
2. Church denominational delay
Because most pastors do not want their active and vibrant brothers or sisters to be a “take away,” they hedge them in through this factor.
God does not work with our prejudice, and you can’t box Him in through your denominational doctrine.
You know why?
His ways are not your ways and His thoughts are not your thoughts.
Your church isn’t the only “perfect” church in the world. There are several others where He has His faithful children, who worship Him in spirit and in truth.
Mind you, the church is not your place of worship, you are the church – those who have been called out of the world.
If you find yourself in this kind of place, grow up spiritually and think outside the box, otherwise you will age like Methuselah.
Fellowship with other brethren in the body of Christ. Have your own relationship with God and don’t depend solely on “My pastor” says.
Though we are many, but we’re one body in Christ (Rom. 12:5).
However, don’t mingle for the purpose of finding someone to marry, else you will attract the wrong person.
3. Boyfriend-girlfriend induced delay
Being single isn’t the time to chase immoral relationships with the opposite sex, however, it’s the time to grow capacity in all areas of your life.
Nothing wastes and destroys the life of many singles unlike boyfriend and girlfriend relationships. Many don’t leave such relationship without a dented life.
Don’t delay your marital destiny by dating Paul or Pauline in search of Mr. or Miss right.
It’s better you’re committed to God and your life now that you are single, than to mess up your life in a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship, and later become serious when age is no longer smiling at you.
4. Tribal related delay
Many church goers, parents or Christians are of the opinion that if the right person doesn’t come from their tribe, then it is no one.
See, you are only delaying your marital destiny.
The right person may not come from your tribe, class or ethnic group if you really want God to guide you in your choice of who to marry.
What you should consider is if the person has Jesus (not a church goer), a good character and that they’ve discovered their divine purpose, these are all that matters. More so, you should consider whether he or she is God’s choice for you.
If you are waiting till you find the right person from your tribe, you’ll wait till thy kingdom come.
“Where there is neither Greek nor Jew, circumcision nor uncircumcision, Barbarian, Scythian, bond nor free: but Christ is all, and in all” (Colossians 3:11 KJV)
5. Parental influenced delay
Some parents, due to their mindset or past experience, would never allow any of their children to marry from a particular tribe or church denomination.
Should this happen in your case, talk to them and be sure that it’s not lust, infatuation or deception that’s influencing your choice, so that their reasons for saying no won’t play out in your marriage.
In a flip side, if you’re sure your potential spouse is God’s will, pray fervently. That a thing is God’s will does not mean there won’t be challenging situations.
6. Spiritual induced delay
This is the main reason why many are delayed from getting married on time.
Spiritual induced delay is caused by unseen forces that militate against the marital destiny of some families. Some families don’t get married until they’re way above 35 or 40 years. In some, a curse has been placed on men and women maritally, and as such, it has become an evil trend.
While some spiritual delay is caused by covenantal relationships with spirit husband or wife, marital delay is a spiritual stronghold.
See, I’m not downplaying the finished work of Christ on the Cross of Calvary. Many don’t know how to make this victory a reality in their life.
Don’t be decieved by those sensational preachers who tells you: “God did it. I believe it. That settles it.” If it were so, all believers in Christ shouldn’t have issues in life once they make their declaration of faith.
If Satan could hinder Paul, one of the greatest Apostle from reaching the believers in Thessalonica, how much more you who haven’t operated in one-tenth of his anointing?
Am I writing this to put you under pressure?
But to make you understand that whilst preparing to be the right person, and to find the right person, take care of the spiritual aspect that could affect your marital testimony. Remember, we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against some spiritual elements in the unseen world (Eph. 6:12).
When your marital delay is caused by an unseen spiritual force, pick up relevant scriptures from the Bible, and war a good warfare, plus live a holy life. Don’t be non-chalant about this issue of delay and expect God to act when you do not make any move.
More so, don’t just relax and say “God’s time is the best” when according to His time, you should be married by now.
When the enemy is behind your delay, the likes of worry, frustration and depression set in; but when God tells you to wait, He comforts you periodically by giving you His word of grace.
Marital delay caused by spiritual factors is a stronghold, but more stronger is the Lord of Host. Pray until something happens and don’t think time and chance will make things happen.
Wrestle in the place of prayer and never give up until you’re established maritally.
Remember, He came to set the captives free, even the lawful captives.
Take charge, and stay strong!
God bless you!